Trick or Treat Smell My Feet......

I'm not a huge Halloween fan but of course the kids get soooo excited about it that I needed to make sure my scroogeness was not so obvious. This year I decided to carve the pumpkins (usually Les is in charge of this) but of course do you think I could go with easy?! I asked the kids what they wanted and then searched for it on the internet and what do you know in minutes I had patterns printed out and ready to go.

Eli wanted scooby doo but I had to shrink the pattern because his pumpkin was too small not realizing how much more difficult this would be! Poor scooby has a few toothpicks holding him together but all in all Eli was exstatic so it was a huge success!Adrianna's pumpkin was a lot easier to work with, which made the outcome so much better. Again, a huge success in the eyes of a child!!
We can't forget the two munchkins in their costumes!

Yipes an Allergic Reaction but to What!!

Adrianna was heading home after playing with the neighbour kids when I noticed that she was rubbing her eyes and having a hard time opening them I thought maybe she got some dirt in them but by the time she got to the front door she couldn't even open her eyes, her face was going red and her breathing was a bit laboured.

She put a wet cloth on her face because she was complaining that her face was hot and burning. To touch it was fine but it was getting REDDER from just above her eyebrows down to her upper lip and from ear to ear. I had her take some benadryl and after a short time the eyes started to stop hurting, she could finally open them, her breathing was no longer laboured but her face was still very very RED and she needed to keep the wet cloth on so it didn't burn so bad plus her upper lip was a bit swollen.

I phoned the nurses line just for ease of mind. Sounded like it was an allergic reaction and that all would be well but the nurse felt she should still get checked out so off we went to one of the walk-in clinics. Thankfully we got in fairly quickly to see the doc and he agreed it was an allergic reaction but it's hard to diagnose when you haven't got a clue what caused it! I was told to keep giving the benadryl for 24 hours and she was also prescribed some cream.

Still have no idea what caused it?! My poor neighbours probably thought I was a little odd.....I was asking if by chance any chemicals had been sprayed lately, basically I knew the answer was no between all the rain and the fact that all the kids play in the area all the time it didn't really make sense but the doc was asking so I had to ask too.

We're figuring she might have got bit by an insect but still have no idea? Unfortunately it's one of those things where maybe we'll find out the next time it happens or maybe it'll never happen again. I'm hoping it'll never happen again!

Health Update

WAHOO chemo is done and we're getting ready for the next stage - radiation!!!

Last time we gave an update I was just getting ready to start a new chemo drug (docetaxel) and we weren't sure what to expect. It ended up being better but worse if that makes sense at all?! There was no nausea which was a great blessing however in lieu of that I had excruciating joint paint. The pain I dealt with started off feeling like growing pains but then the pain kept increasing to the point the pain would shoot up and down my legs (mostly knees to ankles sometimes up to my hips and then the last treatment it went to my toes) making it nearly impossible to walk and sleep. The first time the Oncologist prescribed Tylenol 3 with Codeine only to find that didn't even touch the pain so the remaining two treatments I was put on Gabapentin and it worked but I was still in pain just less of it and went through the same side effects. After about 4 days the pain slowly went back to growing pains and then a couple more days later the pain was gone. There were other side effects to deal with ranging from diarrhea, nerve sensitivity with my finger tips and the last treatment it also affected the bottom of my feet, burnt mouth (that's what I call it because I didn't have mouth sores but my mouth felt like it was burnt. I liken it to burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate except it was my whole mouth and would usually take a good 10 days to recover from), nail discoloration, sensitive gums, etc.

The side effects of chemo were rough but I'm still very grateful that it wasn't worse and that always by the 1 1/2 week point I was on the road to recovery and feeling more like myself. Also, we couldn't have done this with so much ease without the help we received from Les's mom. She came and stayed a week with us for each one of these last 3 chemo treatments taking the kids to school, cooking, cleaning, etc. This was especially appreciated on the last treatment as Les was in the middle of his 20+ work day schedule and he was exhausted so it was nice that he could come home and know that everyone and everything was taken care of. So many other people helped as well between taking the kids, driving me to appointments and bringing meals. We've said this many times but we are so blessed to have such wonderful support around us and this journey would not have been nearly as easy had it not been for that.

Radiation. We've met the radiation oncologist and know that there will be 5 1/2 weeks of radiation (28 sessions), originally it was only 4 weeks but because there is going to be reconstructive surgery in the future she wanted to make the daily dosage not as strong so that it's a little easier on my skin. We were at the cancer clinic last Friday where I was officially tattooed (3 little black dots) and are now waiting for the 3 week mark since last chemo and to hear from the radiation department on a start date, which we should know by the end of the week. We have requested a couple different times in the day because of the drive and most importantly because of the kids. If we can have it scheduled late morning then the kids can go to school I can go to my radiation appointment and it won't affect them at all. While at the appointment Friday we did find out that they only book on a weekly basis so every Friday we'll get the appointment times for the following week so there is a high chance we won't have the same appointment time.

Side effects of radiation....... as far as I'm concerned this will be a walk in the park compared to chemo but there are still side effects to deal with. Mostly it'll have to do with my skin and how it reacts to radiation, they'll keep a close eye on my skin and will recommend different creams as the weeks progress, I may develop a cough because a small part of my lung will be radiated in the process, the skin coloration change may be permanent and I'll probably lose my energy (not that I have much, chemo pretty much sucked up a bunch of that). We were told that the loss of energy probably won't happen until about the 4th or 5th week but that it'll carry on about two weeks after radiation before picking up again.

How are we? Tired. It's been 7 months since it all started and there is still a good month and a half to go. The kids have been incredible and are still doing incredible but we can tell they're starting to get tired of hearing 'we can't because mom......' Les looks forward to having days off that aren't filled with doctors appointments (he does get a few of those but not enough) and my body is just tired it's been put through the ringer and doesn't know what's going on. One of the biggest adjustments is that the chemo has caused a chemically induced menopause, I won't go into details but my body is really really confused!! Honestly I worry about the future this has been our lives and conversation for so long now I'm not 100% sure what happens or what I do when this is all done. One day we'll all of a sudden have no more appointments and I often ask myself how does one move one? Life does and will move on but it won't ever be the same as it was before we are no longer the same people.

Again, our hearts are full of gratitude for all that has been done for our family we are blessed to have so many many wonderful people in our lives.

Menopause. Yep, You Read Right!

Now if I was going through the natural stages of life at the appropriate time of life I wouldn't even comment on this but for those of you who weren't aware one of the blessed side effects of chemo can be a chemically induced menopause! Fun you say?!!! Well....... at the age of 34 let me tell you I'm far from ready for this stage of my life! If you DON'T want to know DON'T read any further!!!

In my cancer 'bible' (a navy blue duotang all cancer patients are given where all info is kept in it and must be close at hand) under number six with the heading Sexuality, Reproductive and Hormonal Systems it reads, "Some women may be put into a premature menopause - experiencing hot flashes, mood swings, dry skin and vaginal dryness. If these side effects occur, please discuss them with your doctor or nurse. This may or may not be reversible."

Let me take you back to my very first chemo appointment back on June 22nd. At this appointment I was informed that because of the chemo treatment I was getting I would be put into a chemical menopause and I'll admit we were rather excited because this meant it would take me out of the monthly torture of PMDD that I put everyone through BUT because of my age it's highly likely I can bounce out of it (menopause twice in my life - where is the fairness in that)! We also found out that it'll actually take a full year to really know to what extent I've gone into menopause if at all.

So you think okay menopause wahoo no more periods but hold the bus it's SO much more than that. Back up to June still.......I was told I'd probably have one more cycle and then it would abruptly stop but every women is different so it's not 100% that that's how it would go. Of course NO it wasn't. When the time came and went and nothing happened I thought I was in the clear but 14 days late it came and it came with a vengeance! Never have I experienced such heaviness and for so long I was getting worried and I was getting drained when finally after 10 days it stopped. I figured for sure that would be it - done but like clock work the next month it came on time only this time it didn't stop....well 30 days later it did! Did you know that when your going through menopause menstruation completely changes and let me tell you it's not pretty!

Throughout all this I was beginning to think maybe I really wasn't going through menopause because I wasn't really getting all the other side effects people talk about. They started coming just not until after my 4th chemo treatment! I went from blanket hog to get the damn things off me and PLEASE open that window. I went from wahoo I'm a mom that can jump on the trampoline without loss of bladder control to man I coughed and just peed my pants. I went from the love of foreplay to okay I want it but we've got one minute before the desire completely leaves and we're both out of luck. I went from PMS/PMDD hellion to angelic like mood swings.

Gee.....I don't know whether to kill myself laughing or cry myself silly as I type this!!

Exhausted but WAHOO Chemo is Done!

What a day yesterday was! Due to the Dexamethasone (originally for nausea for my first three treatments but for these last three its actually been to help with the swelling and puffiness one gets from the chemo drug) I have to take the day before, day of and day after this particular chemo treatment it causes sleep issues so needless to say I was wide a wake at 3:15 am and there was no way I could get back to sleep! After tossing and turning for just over an hour I finally got up and sat at the computer played facebook for awhile and did some typing I wanted to get started on by the time I got that all done the sleeping bodies started stirring and our day was ready to get going!

Les headed to work, the kids and I headed to school where I got to help in Eli's class with their reading program for the first time, I love doing that and will miss not being able to particpate again for a few weeks but I'll be back! It's so fun to watch all the kids and the different stages they are at, it's especially fun for me to watch my own child and watch how he interacts in a school setting with his teacher and classmates and to watch his progress!

I had mixed emotions this time mostly because Les had come to every single one of my chemo appointments and he had to miss this one, the last one, the exciting one because it was the last one but there was no way he could get out of work with staff on holidays. I completely understand and am so blessed to have him, throughout this he has tried to come to as many appointments as he can. It's been exhausting for him as his days off and holidays have all been worked around surgery or doctor appointments he needs a holiday from all this as much as I do!!

My friend Berit picked me up and we headed to the hospital, chemo was scheduled for 12:45 pm. We got there and as we were waiting for the chemo nurse to call me in my brother surprised me by stopping by and saying hello (he works at the hospital), that was a wonderful surprise! Chemo room must have been a little behind because I didn't get called until just after 1 and once we got in there that's when the fun began!

It seems out of the 6 chemo treatments I've had only 2 treatments have gone smoothly and yesterday wasn't one of those! I have a portacath because my veins won't work and a couple treatments ago the nurses couldn't get blood return (very important) so I had to do some funny exercises but they got it working.....well this treatment had the same issues but this time it was not going to work. They tried everything again the hanging upside down on the bed, deep breathing moving my neck back and forth, holding my hands behind my back deep breathing, moving them forward, touching my toes, all the time head moving left, right, left, right while doing the deep breaths (with a chest cold). Nope, would not work! Now they had to inject a special medication that breaks down any clogging that is happening at the tip of the portacath but this means time. They injected me and then I had to sit around for an hour before they could test the line again. Lucky for Berit and I we didn't have to stay in the chemo room so we went and spent some money! There was a book fair going on by the cafeteria (there is always something going on there) and we both spent some money. I'm sure both our husbands are wondering how we can go to a chemo appointment and end up with purchases (probably more hers then mine)!!

So....back to chemo room by this time its 2:45 pm and I was hoping by this time we'd be on our way home! Nurses checked the line and YES it worked!! We could proceed with treatment. We then had to wait for the nurses to order the drug and have the pharmacy (right next door) prepare it and deliver it and for some reason with Docetaxel it takes a little longer to prepare. Finally the drug arrived and chemo proceeded, now to sit and wait for another hour as it slowly entered into my body.

Finally at 4:20 pm we were in the car and very ready to head home! However, for all of you that know Surrey you know how much of a treat the drive home can be!! Not only was it rush hour it was a Friday and the beginning of a long weekend which all spells out SLOW for trying to get home! I won't go on and on about our drive home but I will tell you we didn't reach my house until 6:30 pm (with a 10 minute pit stop at Berit's house). What a long day!

I so badly wanted to go out and celebrate this exciting moment in my life NO MORE CHEMO, this milestone but I was so exhausted I just couldn't do it. This will have to wait for another day and trust me there will be a celebration!