Now if I was going through the natural stages of life at the appropriate time of life I wouldn't even comment on this but for those of you who weren't aware one of the blessed side effects of chemo can be a chemically induced menopause! Fun you say?!!! Well....... at the age of 34 let me tell you I'm far from ready for this stage of my life! If you DON'T want to know DON'T read any further!!!
In my cancer 'bible' (a navy blue duotang all cancer patients are given where all info is kept in it and must be close at hand) under number six with the heading Sexuality, Reproductive and Hormonal Systems it reads, "Some women may be put into a premature menopause - experiencing hot flashes, mood swings, dry skin and vaginal dryness. If these side effects occur, please discuss them with your doctor or nurse. This may or may not be reversible."
Let me take you back to my very first chemo appointment back on June 22nd. At this appointment I was informed that because of the chemo treatment I was getting I would be put into a chemical menopause and I'll admit we were rather excited because this meant it would take me out of the monthly torture of PMDD that I put everyone through BUT because of my age it's highly likely I can bounce out of it (menopause twice in my life - where is the fairness in that)! We also found out that it'll actually take a full year to really know to what extent I've gone into menopause if at all.
So you think okay menopause wahoo no more periods but hold the bus it's SO much more than that. Back up to June still.......I was told I'd probably have one more cycle and then it would abruptly stop but every women is different so it's not 100% that that's how it would go. Of course NO it wasn't. When the time came and went and nothing happened I thought I was in the clear but 14 days late it came and it came with a vengeance! Never have I experienced such heaviness and for so long I was getting worried and I was getting drained when finally after 10 days it stopped. I figured for sure that would be it - done but like clock work the next month it came on time only this time it didn't stop....well 30 days later it did! Did you know that when your going through menopause menstruation completely changes and let me tell you it's not pretty!
Throughout all this I was beginning to think maybe I really wasn't going through menopause because I wasn't really getting all the other side effects people talk about. They started coming just not until after my 4th chemo treatment! I went from blanket hog to get the damn things off me and PLEASE open that window. I went from wahoo I'm a mom that can jump on the trampoline without loss of bladder control to man I coughed and just peed my pants. I went from the love of foreplay to okay I want it but we've got one minute before the desire completely leaves and we're both out of luck. I went from PMS/PMDD hellion to angelic like mood swings.
Gee.....I don't know whether to kill myself laughing or cry myself silly as I type this!!
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