It's Done

At my chemo orientation I was told what signs to watch out for.....sensitive scalp, hurt, sore, pain, etc. At my first chemo treatment my nurse told me that my hair would be falling out because I'm being given high doses of meds but that all I might experience is some thinning before my next appointment (July 13). Well, off and on over the past week and a half I've experienced some scalp sensitivity but it really didn't become constant until the beginning of the week. I would especially notice it at night because it sometimes felt like I was laying on pins and needles.

On Thursday it started, I could pull on my hair and a little bit would come out and then Friday came along and it REALLY started falling out! I could run my hands through my hair and not much would come out but if I grabbed one of my curls I wouldn't have to pull much and yep you guessed it out it came. So it became a question of when to shave it? I knew it had to happen but when I wasn't 100% sure, I just couldn't bring myself to do it......yet. It wasn't so much the worry of having no hair heck I just went from being very large chested to completely flat chested, if I could do that what's a head of hair?!

Today I hopped into the shower not really thinking too much of it when it started. Hand full after hand full after hand full it was coming out. I kept thinking to myself - stop but I couldn't it became an empowerment thing. Why shouldn't I just naturally let it come out? Sure one might say your nuts or how could you but how couldn't I? I didn't want to be scared and jump the gun and just shave it all. I finally realized at that moment I wanted to experience the hair loss, to know that this is just one of many side affects I've experienced from the chemo drugs and like the rest I could manage it and get through it. It wasn't until I was getting out of the shower that I wondered what I looked like, how thin was it, was it going to be patchy? Oh, well it was done and it was time to face the music.

Two weeks since my first chemo injection and I can say I'm bald (almost bald) and beautiful! Adrianna helped, Eli laughed and laughed and laughed and Les gave compliments. PLUS my sister Nikki had hers shaved at the exact same time which actually almost made it fun!

Regrets? No way, I wouldn't have done it any other way.